May 23, 2010

It's funny cuz it's true.

from The Bad Chemicals online comic

I really, really, really, really want a holiday. A nice, relaxing holiday. Preferably involving a day spa and a jaunt out to the countryside, or even Tasmania, at some ridiculously plush and hidden away place. I just need to get away from things.

Last night, I got stuck in a cycle of insomnia. You know the one - your mind is listing off all the things you need to do, then you start arguing with that little voice, and the argument develops into a self-hating bitch-fight where you tell yourself how pathetic you are and how you're going to fail at everything, just like you do all the time. You know, that cycle. I managed to break it, with my sledgehammer-of-meditation, but dammit, I missed a good 3hrs of sleep thanks to my brain blathering on non-stop. It all comes down to being stressed. Lovely.

I should really keep something at my bedside that I can write in when I get stuck in one of those insomnia cycles. Instead of telling myself what I should've done and arguing it out in my head, I can write it all down and check it out the next day. Nothing like the harsh light of morning to tell you you're a bit crazy and need to stop stressing.

So, yes. A proper holiday would be lovely. Two more weeks of school til I can even *think* about it, though.

Ah, stress. You've got me. You bitch.

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