June 05, 2010

Not for the weak-stomached....

Warning: If you can't handle bodily functions being discussed, then please, don't read this post.

Seriously.

Let me give you some space so you don't catch any words...


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....okay, well, here I go.

I am so very, very ill at the moment. Came down ill Monday night with aches and pain, then fever on Tuesday, followed by delirious fever, pain and sore throat from Wednesday onwards. I'm on antibiotics and paracetamol, and I do not feel any better. All this on the cusp of my four-week holidays! Typical! I have one more assignment to complete before I can relax, but I'm so messed up with this thing that I can't focus on it.

I know I'm stressed about my assignment, because I'm having nightmares about it. You know those freaky nightmares you get when you have a fever? Yeah, well, I'm having those about typography. Letters coming to get me. Wonderland doesn't have shit on my diseased mind. Think along the lines of this:



Speaking of Typography, I handed in my last Typography brief of the semester whilst tripping on a fever, and woke up last night in the realisation that I did it wrong. Stuffed up the contents page. No wonder I'm doing so badly this year....argh!

Anyway, now for the gross bit. I'm just been ill. I mean ill. Explosively ill from my mouth and...eugh...through my goddamn nose. Been blocked up for days without being able to even breathe through the damn thing, but feel a chunder coming on and, wow, out open the floodgates! Bastards. Damn nasal cavities burn with stomach acid. I won't begin to explain what it was like blowing my nose directly after the incident. I'm chewing madly on peppermint gum, but, eugh, it's a memory I won't forget fast. Like the time I laughed so hard whilst eating a meat pie, that some hot mince came out of my nose. And don't get me started on orange juice. Sod cola or fizzy drinks, fresh orange juice burns the nose for days.

Really, I don't know what's wrong with my nose. It looks hideous, I know, but geez, you'd think with such a large snout that it might work properly. It's been stuffed up ever since I smashed it in 1988, and yet, I'm no Barbara Streisand. I remember seeing a specialist about it at a young age, but nothing 'seemed' to be 'wrong'. I just am always blowing the damn thing and drowning in mucous, whether I've a cold or not. I should talk to my doctor about it not this blog...

Ah well. I do feel slightly 'clearer' after the chunder. But by gods, I just want to be well again! You know the phrase 'sick of being sick'? Well, 14 years of being sick is a real pisser, I can tell you that now.

Yuck.

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